Accidental Stupidity

Yes, you heard correctly, I was indeed in a hospital. The reason being a recent confrontation between a left leg and the front wheel of a Dodge Durango. Allow me to explain.

Our family has been in Michigan for the past week or so, parked at Immanuel Baptist Church in Corunna. This current weekend is the church’s VBS Caribbean Camp and water balloons has always been a huge part of this weekend camp since it began, though I daresay they have precious little to do with said accident. I know you were thinking “How does one end up un the hospital from a water balloon accident” but as you read, all will unfold in due course. Buckets were filled at the church building of these water balloons, which would then be loaded on the back of a truck(and cue Dodge Durango), to be transported to a large and spacious field positioned ever conveniently behind the church. Well, as the story goes, I was last to reach the truck(apparently disposing of a plastic vessel which once held Dr. Pepper has its drawbacks.) and thus the tailgate was otherwise engaged with two other such persons pursuing the same object, that being a seat upon aforementioned tailgate. This being the case, I, rather than accepting the offered position inside the vehicle of H2O inflated rubber transportation, chose to run along side the vehicular monstrosity. As it was all in play and both parties were inexperienced in races between two such diverse objects, one human, the other, somewhat less human…. The truck edged me to a concrete walkway, whereupon rested a series of potted foliage. Being the ever intelligent and calculating person of wise discernment and acute foresight that I am, I began leaping the pots as they appeared in my path. By a warped sense of decor or factory defect, the final plant had an evil and malicious, rather wicked and perverse tree-like monstrosity growing from the depths of the pot to raise the overall height of the obstacle to half again as tall as its predecessors. Had it been of a more firm fiber, or were it greater in mass and strength I may have simply collided with said stick thing and promptly impaled my dashing features upon the concrete. This not being the case, I tripped on the fragile plant, wiped out and skidded neath the front wheel of a skidding truck. The tire didn’t completely run over my leg, but it did succeed in boring a gaping hole in my ankle as it slid it across the gravel, before swiftly retracting itself. Thanks to the quick wit of a friend, and several volunteered recourses, I arrived at the ER in short order and minimal pain. After examination and a flippant cleaning job, my foot was bound in a makeshift cast and I was sent home to appear for surgery the following morning. In all reality, the surgery did not take place till the day after, that being the day in which I am currently typing this blog post. On the scheduled surgery day, they merely sewed up internal tissue and such and cleansed the wound thoroughly. This morning they closed the wound, leaving a drainage tube in till Monday, plausibly Wednesday, to absorb any fluids and such till the wound is completely healed. So, I’m sitting in bed, the worst of it over. For those who have been praying all along, I cannot thank you enough. All praise to my Liege Lord and Sovereign. Until next time, Jared Allen signing off.